Tuesday, August 27, 2019

It's Good to Be a Friend


Pastor, radio host and educator, Charles Swindoll said, "I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun."  I must agree with this wholeheartedly.  Without the love and support of good friends, I don't know where I would be.  It has also been my desire to be such a friend to others and I have been blessed with some great examples.

                I have seen in Scouting that friendships are a vital part of the whole program. Boys like to have friends. Feeling a part of the group gives a Scout identity, a sense of belonging and a feeling of safety. The more friends a young person has the better they feel about themselves.

                Friendship is more than just the fact you know each other.  We see people every day, at work, school, church or where ever, and we greet each other and are pleasant, but that does not really make us friends.  Friends are those who are involved in our lives and we in theirs.  A friend is a person you talk with, laugh with, cry with, and believes in.  Nineteenth-century English Clergyman, Robert Hall, described a friend this way, "A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity."  Let's look at four ways you can be this kind of a friend.

“There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.”
– Katharine Hathaway
(1890-1942)
Author/Educator

1)  Friends believe in each other
                  It is one thing to agree with the dreams and ambitions of your friends and another to believe in those dreams and ambitions.  As a friend, believe in the dreams of those you care about.  Some may be a bit far out there and you may not fully understand, but they are not your dreams to understand.  Know that your friend has this dream and your place, as their friend, is not to critique or remodel it but to support and believe in them.

                Scouts are always ready to encourage each other to go to the next level. No matter if they are moving up in rank or taking a swimming test, they are there to encourage each other on and help make the process better for each one. A Scout believes in his brother Scout and honestly desires to see him succeed. In a Troop, when one succeeds, they all succeed.

2)  Friends share their dreams
                Just as you are willing to hear and believe in your friend’s dream, allow them to be a part of yours.  If the relationship is all one-sided, then it is not a healthy relationship in the first place.  One of the marks of a real friend is that you will make each other better people and achievers.  As a businessman, Henry Ford said, "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."

                In the process of earning the rank of Eagle Scout, the Scout must do what is called an Eagle project. This is not a simple act of service. It is truly a major project. One thing they all know is that the other Scouts in your Troop are there to help you. The Scout moving to Eagle rank may have to design and plan the project, but he knows he does not have to do it alone. He has brothers who believe in him and will happily do their best for him.

3)  Friends accept nothing less than excellence
                A true friend is one who knows that you have the potential to be excellent in all you do and will accept nothing less.  I have heard many times that a true friend accepts you just the way you are.  That is not at all true.  The waiter in the restaurant or the bank teller accepts you "just as you are".  They don't care what you do or how you live.  A true friend cares about you and will do all they can to keep you from doing things that will injure your character or reputation.  Friend will always work to help you become the very best you can be and not ignore your flaws but help you to overcome them.

                A Scout is brave. It takes courage to confront a friend when you know they are heading in the wrong direction. Scouts are quick to encourage and help each other along the way, but they will also be quick to say things are not as they should be. They know that to help a friend avoid trouble is to truly help a friend.

4)  Friends are encouragers
                "When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you're making a commitment and difference in that person's life." Zig Ziglar said, "Encouragement really does make a difference."  There is no greater gift we can give to our friends, family or to ourselves than that of encouragement.  Sometimes it is as simple as a warm smile and a soft pat on the back, other times it means sitting quietly with a hurting friend just so they know you are there.  If you have one gift to give to your friends, let it be an encouragement. 

                I have found that Scouts often live in the real world. They do not all come from perfect homes and have their parents at each meeting cheering them on. They come from broken homes where they are facing many difficulties on their own. These Scouts can be some of the greatest encouragers of all. They know what their friends are facing and struggling with and they also know that together, they can overcome. No matter if their life is like a storybook or a tragedy, Scouts encourage and stick together. That is what friends do.

You matter!  You matter to the world and to yourself.  Remember to be your best, love God, have good manners, achieve the unknown and change your world.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2019 John Patrick Hickey

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