The Role Model

I had the great privilege of being a Scout during its hay-day of the 1950s & ’60s. In our neighborhood, I don’t remember any of my friends who were not Scouts. Every boy was in Scouts. We all went to Troop meetings together. We all went camping together, worked on rank advancements and Merit Badges together. Scouting was not just who we were. It was what we did.

Because Scouting was so much a part of our lives, people expected a lot from us. It was a familiar saying, even in the TV programs and movies of the time, that when young people refused to do something they knew was wrong, the accusation was, “What’s the matter, are you a Boy Scout?”

 “Remember, when camping or hiking, that a good deal is expected of Boy Scouts. You have to keep up the good name of the movement.”

Sir Robert Baden-Powell

1857-1941

Founder of the Boy Scouts

There may not be as many Boy Scouts today. In a lot of neighborhoods, you may not find one Scout, surely not all Scouts. However, the high expectation for good behavior is still there. When you tell people you are a Scout, they have high expectations about you. You are a role model.

Over the past few decades, the idea of being a role model has been something people have tried to avoid. Sports figures who have been unfortunate examples of moral and civil behavior, not to mention lousy sportsmanship. When called on their bad behavior and the example they show to young people, they quickly say, “I never said I was a role model.” But like it or not, they are.

Scouts and Scouters need not only to accept that they are role models but to embrace it as the honor it is. Just as bad behavior can cause considerable damage to our society, so good behavior can improve it. Living by the Scout Oath & Law can make a difference. Scouters, being the example to your Scouts that the Oath & Law do work, can help them to be the influence our society needs. Scouts, showing your friends that you can be healthy and achieve without giving in to negative forces around you can help them as they go through life.

Scouting is not here so that you can have a good time. A good time is part of it, but there is a far greater purpose. Scouts can change our society and the uncivil, negative culture we see before us. But it takes our being willing to live the Scout Oath & Law every day. To view it as our mission in this work. The greater good that we can make the changes that are so desperately needed. You are the role model that everyone has been waiting for.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 062920 Wrong is Wrong

The Uniform

Here is a reasonable question: Why since my page is called Scouting Out of Uniform and the blog is the Scouting Out of Uniform Blog am I writing about the uniform? I have had people think that because I use the name “Out of uniform” that I am anti-uniform. That is not at all true. I not only love the Scout uniform, but I believe it is an essential part of Scouting.

The Scout uniform is more than a way we can all look alike. The uniform connects us as belonging to the same group. Over the years, the Scout uniform has changed with the times, but it has always been recognized as the Scout uniform. Wherever you go, people know that you are a Scout, and you represent all the values and standards that go with it.

 “Smartness in uniform and correctness in detail may seem a small matter but has its value in the development of self-respect and means an immense deal to the reputation of the movement among outsiders who judge by what they see.”

Sir Robert Baden-Powell

1857-1941

Founder of the Boy Scouts

Scouts are taught to pay attention to the details of their uniforms. Make sure the shirt is tucked in, the scarf is properly rolled and worn. The uniform is clean and in good repair. All badges and pins in their proper place, and each detail is seen to. When a Scout is well dressed in their uniform, they feel pride as a Scout and behave like a Scout. It is a fantastic thing how a proper uniform can make a Scout feel and behave.

My reference to being “Out of Uniform” means that we follow the Scout Oath & Law all the time, whether we are in or out of uniform. I desire to show how the Scout Oath & Law can help us live a successful life if we are in uniform or not, or if we are not involved in Scouting at all.

As a Scout or Scouter, take pride in your uniform. Pay attention to details and remember that people know the Scout uniform and what it stands for. You are an example of what Scouting is all about. Let your uniform be a guide as to how you behave, talk, and serve others around you.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 062420 The Cause of Failure

Enjoy Your Work

I have always found it puzzling how people can work at a job they hate. I have heard many people, from all different areas or work, tell me that they hate their job. They don’t like the work, the people they work with or for. They are unhappy with their salary, or they fee there is no opportunity for advancement. With all there negatives, they still stay in the same position month after month, year after year. For some, it is their whole work life.

The reason it puzzles me is that no one has to work at a job they hate. We live in a country that offers limitless opportunities for our choice of careers. If there is nothing better you can find working for a different company, you can always create your job and work for yourself. People do it all the time—people who have courage, determination, and creative thinking that is.

 “A man who takes pride in his work gets a big measure of enjoyment out of it.”

Sir Robert Baden-Powell

1857-1941

Founder of the Boy Scouts

A mistake many people make is looking at their work as something they are forced to do. People who have learned to enjoy their work and who are excellent at their work (the two do go together) are people who have chosen what they want to do rather than what they have to do.

A great program in Scouting is the Marit badge Program. Merit Badges are more than tasks to be done or project that you earn along the way in Scouting. They give you a taste of different careers and types of paths to take in life. By doing Merit Badges, you may discover you enjoy science, or engineering, business, cultures, and even cooking. They are not meant to achieve the badge, and they leave it behind. If you find something you enjoy, go for it. You may find other badges in the same area of study. You can read books, take a class, or look into a career in that area.

The world is full of wonderful opportunities if you will only go after them. Remember that success will never come looking for you. It is not hiding from you, but you have to go after it, it will never go after you.

If you are in a job you hate or one you feel is taking you nowhere, ask yourself this critical question: What do you want to do? When you get the answer go after it. Do what it takes to get it. Never give up. It will be the hardest work you will ever do and the most fun you will ever have.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 062220 A Good Choice

There is No Good Gossip

One of the worst traps of rudeness is that of being a gossip. Gossiping is one of those things most people tell you they hate, but most people eagerly indulge in it. You can call it sharing news with others, listening to a friend, or use the disguise many Christians use and call it a prayer request. When you are talking about others behind their back, it is a gossip plan and simple.

Scouts and Scouters must understand that gossip is very hurtful and destructive. When you gossip, you lose the trust and respect of others. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that no one will know. The old saying is right that “Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you.” If you know of someone who tells you in secret something about others, you can bet they will tell others secrets about you.

“Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you

 – not because they are nice, but because you are.”

Unknown

Author R. Kent Hughes gives a good description of gossip in his book, Disciplines of a Godly Man: “Gossip involves saying behind a person’s back what you would never say to his or her face. Flattery means saying to a person’s face what you would never say behind his or her back.” A Scout should never be a party to gossip – or to flattery for that matter. Both are insincere and disrespectful to the person they are addressed to.

When you are approached with some gossip, be polite and simply say that you would rather not hear what the person has to say. If in a group, you can excuse yourself and move on. You do not have to correct the gossip or defend yourself. Not listening to gossip is doing what is right. When a Scout does what is right, they never have to protect themselves. Right actions are their defense.

I had a friend several years ago who, whenever a person wanted to tell her something about another person, she would stop them and ask if they could pray for the person. She would say that God knows the need, and she did not have to. Leonard Ravenhill said, “Notice, we never pray for folks we gossip about, and we never gossip about the folks for whom we pray! For prayer is a great deterrent.” As a Scout, you do not want to be considered among those who gossip but be considered among those who pray. Get that reputation, and you will find gossips will come to you less.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 061720 Paperclips and Airplains

When Good Manners Meet Bad

Working with people is not for the faint at heart. To help others to be the best, they can take lots of love, commitment, and patience. Scout leaders follow the principles of the Scout Oath and Law all the time. One of the main principles is to help others fulfill their purpose and achieve their dreams. To do that can be a battle at times. One of the qualities of having good manners is that you are willing to be patient and supportive, even when it feels you are making no progress.

“The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.”

Gabirol

1021-1070

Philosopher

I remember teaching my grandson, who was about eight years old at the time, table manners. He was willing to learn and did try – most of the time – but he also could not see how all this was important. It reminded me of a scene from one of A.A. Milne’s stories on Winnie the Pooh. Tigger comes to Pooh’s party and is having fun when this exchange goes down:

Pooh: “Oh, Tigger, where are your manners?”

Tigger:  “I don’t know, but I bet they’re having more fun than I am.”

Doesn’t it feel that way when you are trying to mentor or coach someone who wants to learn but is just not fully committed yet? This is the time the Scout must be patient and willing to stick with it. The person you are working with is not being defiant or malicious; they are just not catching it all yet. I have worked with people on the same issue for months before they catch on to what they need to do. When they do get it, it is there forever and worth the wait.

Scouts and Scouters are there for the long haul. I do believe there is a time when we know that someone is just using our time and have no intention of changing or moving forward. Then you must move on. Invest your time only in those people who wish to make a change and succeed. You will, however, find that most people do want to learn to be successful. In those cases, be patient and keep working with them. People are always worth the time you put into them. Scouts must look at the potential in people, and they are driven forward because they know that this one who God has placed in their path is a diamond in the making.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 061520 Think A Better Day

Thoughtful Thinking

Scouts and Scouters are known for being thoughtful. They think of others first and do things that are kind and meaningful—remembering a birthday or other special occasion with a card or gift and asking about family members who have been ill or visiting sick friends. These are all good things and bring us blessings as well as to those we bless. Earl Nightingale said, “Our rewards in life will always be in direct proportion to the amount of consideration we show toward others.”

There is more to thoughtfulness than just doing kind things for others. To be thoughtful, one must be willing to think. Yes, I said, ready to believe because the nasty truth is that too many people do not think. Albert Einstein said, “Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds.” Scouts and Scouters understand that being thoughtful means, they must think about others, not just remember special days.

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid to me was when someone asked me

what I thought and attended to my answer.”

Henry David Thoreau

1817-1862

Author

Thinking takes energy and must be purposeful. This is why some many choose not to do it. Understand that there is a difference between remembering something (like a birthday or special event) and thinking about what you can do to bless another person. Ask yourself, “What do they need that I can help with?” “How can I help them move forward?” The answer may not be simple, but it will be thoughtful and useful.

Helen Keller said, “People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.” For a person to do something genuinely thoughtful may mean investing in a person a bit more than you first thought. It may mean sacrifice and give of your time and energy. That is a bit more than a beautiful card and birthday wishes. Philanthropist Arthur Astor Carey said, “We must say that nothing worth having can be had for nothing, and what we must give up in exchange for true courtesy is our own selfishness and preoccupation.”

Scouts learn that it is good to remember the little things in life for others. A simple smile and a few kind words can go a long way. However, they also know that to be genuinely thought they must think. Take the time to think and help others to do so as well.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 061020 You Can Fix It

Manners Improvement

If you are anywhere there is a large group of people, two types of people will stand out every time. One is the well-mannered people, and the other is the people who are not. Where they both equally stand out, they cause two very different reactions. Well-mannered people attract us. We feel safe around them, and we think they will treat us right. Rude people repel us. They make us think they will embarrass us, and we do all we can to avoid them. Now the tough question, which one are you?

Few people will say they are rude. We all like to think we are well mannered in public. Here are some things a person lacking in manners may do: tell off-colored jokes, be loud and strive to get attention, speak badly of others so others can hear, use the excuse, “this is just who I am, so take it or leave it.” Scouts and Scouters know that to be courteous is something you do; it is not excused by who you are. Manners are actions, and we chose to do them. Making that choice in itself is showing good manners.

“I seek constantly to improve my manners and graces,

 for they are the sugar to which all are attracted.”

Og Mandino

1923-1996

Author

The German poet and novelist Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.” Scouts can see who they are by how they behave. Being well mannered is not a stuffy and restrictive thing. Well-mannered people can be the life of the party; however, they know the limits of good behavior. Things like off-color jokes, gossip, and making fun of others are never acceptable. Well-mannered people are polite, kind, and encouraging to all.

So how can a Scout develop the quality of being well mannered? One very definite way is to associate with other well-mannered Scouts and Scouters. Stanley Walker said, “Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folks, and your decent instincts will be strengthened.” We have talked of this principle over and over because it is so crucial to your success. If you want to be a Scout who has good manners, works hard and succeeds in life, then associate with those who already do that. The people we spend our time with will be the people we become, good or bad, it always works.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 060820 A Good Reciever

Just Be Thoughtful

Scouts and Scouters need to understand that how they treat others is key to their success. If you mistreat, lie to, and manipulate people, you will never receive their trust and loyalty. However, when you show kindness and consideration to others, they will do all they can to help you to succeed. Economist Thomas Sowell put it this way, “Politeness and consideration for others are like investing pennies and getting dollars back.”

If you want to see what you look like to others, look at how you treat them. Nothing, not education, not wealth, not position or title matter to people as much as how they are treated. Marion Wright Edelman said, “Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.” John C. Maxwell makes it more evident when he said, “People do not care how much you know till they know how much you care.”  Scouts are taught that you cannot be considerate of others unless you care about them.

“Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous

 – not just to some people in some circumstances – but to everyone all the time.”

Thomas J. Watson

1874-1956

Businessman

Being considerate means, you have respect for others. You respect their opinion, their thoughts, their dreams, and their rights. You do not have to agree with someone to show respect for what they have to say. Both Scouts and Scouters, at times, struggle with the need to be right. That is the wrong way to treat others. Author Jerry Bridges in his book The Practice of Godliness, said, “I fear that all too often Christians may be less humane and considerate than nonbelievers. We think we are standing on principles when, in reality, we may be only insisting on our opinion.”

One of the most considerate things you can do for others is to listen to them. Their opinion matters as much as yours does. When you show the respect of listening to others and allow them to express their opinions and feelings, you then earn the privilege to be heard by them. You give then dignity and acceptance, something every human desiring. This does not mean you must agree with them; they could be totally off the wall, but by listening and being considerate, you can help them in an honest and equal discussion.

Scouts come to understand that to be seen as excellent is not because you compromise or you always are right. It is because you are a polite and considerate person. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “The greater the man, the greater the courtesy.”

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 060320 Make Your Map

Winning with Politeness

Politeness is far more than saying, please, thank you, and using the right fork at dinner. Scouts and Scouters know that to be polite is a state of mind, a behavioral pattern that touches every person you come in contact with. It is also part of the Scout Law; A Scout is Courteous. It is not stuffy or cold but welcoming and warm. Politeness shows care for others and a desire to put others first. The well-known authority on manners, Emily Post, said, “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.”

Somewhere along life’s journey, we get the false impression that good manners are snobbish and too uppity for everyday use. Nothing can be farther from the truth. It is the lack of common politeness that causes people to be dishonest, greedy, self-centered, and hurtful. Many of the problems we face today in our society are nothing but a lack of people being polite to each other. Think that is too simple an excuse? Just think about it, how would the people you know personally be different if they all treated each other politely? 

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.”

Josh Billings

1818-1885

Writer

Scouts also know that having good manners and being polite will open more doors in business than anything they know or offer. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas said, “Good manners will open doors the best education cannot.” Nineteenth-Century English Clergyman Richard Whately said, “Manners are one of the greatest engines of influence ever given to man.” The polite person is more excepted and welcomes into the business world than the one who has ten degrees and is rude.

Being polite is good for the heart as well. Here is an experiment for you to do. For one week, pay close attention to how you act toward others. These are the people you work with, your family, the waitress in the coffee shop, or the person on the street. You don’t have to change anything, just be aware. The next week, do all you can to be polite to each of these people. Be pleasant, kind, and show excellent manners. Now notice how you feel at the end of the day. Polite, Scouts, and Scouters know that tons of stress fall away just by being courteous. You will find others also treat you kinder and more welcoming. It is as philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said, “Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax.”

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU 060120 Be Prepared