Oops, Wrong Group

America's first president, George Washington, wisely said, "It is better to be alone than in bad company."  This is a principle that is often taught in Scouting.  Those who hang around with the wrong crowd will soon sink to their level - no matter how moral, strong and honest you are today.  I have talked to many a well behaved young man who thought he could influence his friends of poor character to be better people; in the end, he becomes more of them and not the other way around.

                When we talk about being with the right crowd, it is not a snobbish thing of thinking you are better than they are.  It is that you do have a better character, morals and a desire to behave in a proper manner.  The reality is, to be a strong person of good character you must be with other people of good character.  Those who keep company with people of poor character will soon be down to their level.

The Bible teaches us in 1 Corinthians15:33: “Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.” It is one of those principles of life that never fails to be true. Scouts are not told they can only associate with other Scouts. However, they are encouraged to be wise in their choice of friends. If you want to be a person of good character, then hang around with people who also want to be of good character. You will strengthen each other every time.  

“95% of people never succeed because they're following the wrong group.”

– Earl Nightingale

(1921-1989)

 Author/Radio Broadcaster

Here are four groups of people you want to avoid on your journey to a great life.

Group #1.  Avoid negative people

                Those who are negative, angry and defeated all the time have an uncontrollable desire to bring all around them down as well.  The old saying, "Misery loves company" is very true.  If you have been around a negative person you know this reality.  No matter who good you feel, they have a reason for you to feel bad.  When you are excited about a victory or achievement, they tear it down and make you feel like a failure.  They are like vampires that suck the life out of you. 

                The Scout Law teaches that a Scout is cheerful. That means they are positive in the attitude and behavior. It is hard, if not impossible, to be cheerful when you have some discouraging, negative force on your back all the time. The best way to fight this is to do your best to avoid it altogether.

                You do not have to reject the negative person in your life (sometimes they are family members) but you do have to control them.  Do not go to such people for advice or guidance.  Seek out the positive people in your life to support and guide you.  Love the negative person, but keep them at a guarded distance.

Group #2.  Avoid unethical people

                You may have come across such a person at work, church, school or even at home.  These are the ones who see no problem in lying, cheating, or being dishonest to get ahead.  They can make it look like a small thing and you really are not doing anything too wrong, but you do know better.  In the end, they will be caught in some way and they never go down alone.  They will toss you over the board as fast as they can.  Remember, if a person cannot be trusted by others, they should not be trusted by you.

                A Scout is trustworthy. That means you can be trusted to be honest, truthful and you are dependable. That is a big responsibility for anyone. The truth is, when you are trustworthy you will advance to places the dishonest person can only dream of. You will also be free to live your life without the fear of the consequences of your actions. That in itself is a great thing to have.

                These people need you to take a stand and directly tell them they are wrong and you will not be part of their unethical behavior - that includes keeping silent about it as well.  Remember the words of Martin Luther, "You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you don't say."  Seek out the people at work and other places who are honest, trustworthy and show good character.

Group #3.  Avoid immoral people

                Here is where it can get dicey for some.  I will not explain what it means to be a moral person, you are all success-minded people and understand this.  However, we all have friends or family that are living immoral lives and yet are good, honest, hardworking people.  So, what do you do?  You need to make it clear what you believe and why.  Then, go on with life and work as you should.  You cannot change another person; nor should you try.  Your example may be what they need to desire change in their life, but you also need to not be a part of their life as well.

                A Scout is clean. That does not mean you wash behind your ears. It means you are clean in your thoughts and actions as well. Scouts are smart enough to know that the old, “everyone is doing it”, or “If it feels good it must be okay” is just foolishness. You make your own choices and you are not a slave to culture, friends, or even your own body. A Scout is not just clean, he keeps himself clean.

                When it comes to those who are openly and constantly immoral, these you must not associate with at all.  Don't be deceived into thinking that you can be an example to them and help them change.  The best example you can be is to stand firm on what is good and what is evil and have nothing to do with evil.

Group #4.  Avoid lazy people

                Out of all the groups of people, these are the ones who can cause the most damage.  Lazy people have no goals but to get all they can from everyone else for as long as they can.  They are the parasites of humanity.  As a success-minded person, you have nothing in common with such people and need to remove them from your life.

                A Scout is helpful. A Scout gets things done. They know that there is no time like the present. I mean, there is no time but the present. Scouts do not put off for later what needs to be done right now. Even the unpleasant jobs of life are faced with the “get it done” attitude. Scouts may have faults and are not perfect, but one thing a Scout is not is lazy.

                Laziness is a disease that can be very contagious.  It starts by putting things off until tomorrow and in time will rob you of your hopes, dreams and leave you broken and useless.  The best cure for laziness is that of commitment and hard work.  As Italian dancer, Bruno Tonioli said, "In reality, nobody gets successful in America by being lazy."

You matter!  You matter to the world and to yourself.  Remember to be your best, love God, have good manners, achieve the unknown and change your world.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2018 John Patrick Hickey