Wednesday, August 7, 2019
Tuesday, August 6, 2019
Winners
"Everyone
is a winner. There are no losers
here." a teacher in a Jr. High School tells her students. For some odd reason, we have begun to think
that it is not only hurtful for a child to lose
but hurtful for them to win as well. In
an Op-Ed from the New York Time titled, Losing Is Good For You, by
Ashley Merryman (Sept. 24, 2013) she wrote, " By age 4 or 5, children
aren’t fooled by all the trophies. They are surprisingly accurate in
identifying who excels and who struggles. Those who are outperformed know it
and give up, while those who do well feel cheated when they aren’t recognized
for their accomplishments. They, too, may give up." After all, if there are no winners why even
try?
The truth is there are winners
and losers in many areas of life. Winning
does not make you better than everyone else, nor does losing make you
less. Winning means that you can do a
task, have a skill or perform a sport better than those you compete against. All winners know, there is always someone who
is better at what you do than you are.
That is why winners work at winning.
In Scouting, winners are rewarded for their work. Whether it is achieving
a rank, earning a merit badge or coming in first in a race, winners are always
recognized. At the same time, Scouts do not criticize
or shame the loser. Those who did not win are encouraged to learn from the
winner how to improve. The goal is always to make those who did not win to
become the winner in the future.
Where our current system fails young people is that they do not challenge
them to be better or to give more. Not only do the losers feel they are less
but the adults think so too. If you think for a moment that children and young
people believe there are no losers or that everyone is a winner, you are being
very foolish. The goal must never be to help children to be comfortable being
less than the best but to help them believe and work at being the best.
There are four myths that have been created in our culture about winners
and winning.
“Practice does not make perfect - but it does make winners.”
– Unknown
MYTH #1 THEY WIN BECAUSE THEY CHEAT
I will not say that some who win
have not cheated to do so, but I will say that those who cheat are not
winners. Real winners win because they
are good at what they do. To be a winner
you must prepare to win and that takes a lot of hard work. Winners practice, commit their time and stay
focused on what they must do. Winning
does not just happen, it takes work.
In Scouting, you learn that you
are expected to do your best. Not be the best, but do your best. Not everyone
will excel at everything, but everyone can be their
best at what they do. Sometimes, that may include being the best. That is good
and should be rewarded. However, Scouts know that being the best at something
does not make you better as a person than anyone else. Scouts encourage all to
do their best and with that comes the fulfillment
and pride of knowing that you are not just one of a pack of mediocre people.
You are a Scout, and that is something to be proud of.
MYTH #2 THEY ARE SELFISH
To think that having a desire to
win a prize or title is selfish is foolish.
Of course, winners want the prize, that is why they are willing to pay
the price to win. Olympic athletes spend
years working out every day for hours a day.
They do not do this so they can have the satisfaction of competing. They want to win. Not just win, but win the gold. The same is true in every area of life. You work hard to win, not to say you were in
the game. Anyone can compete, but only those
who pay the price can win.
Scouts learn that if they want
to move forward they will have to do the work. Not every Scout makes Eagle.
Only about 5% of those in Boys Scouts achieve the rank of Eagle Scout. Eagle is
not an easy rank to achieve. It takes dedication, hard work and persistence to
become an Eagle Scout, but for those who
are willing to pay the price, the prize is there. No one, no matter how bad
they may feel about it, is given the rank of Eagle. If you want it, you must
earn it. No shortcuts, no give away on
excuses. That is what makes an Eagle Scout.
MYTH #3 THEY MAKE OTHERS LOSE
Time for some rational and solid
thinking. If one person wins it has
nothing to do with the others who lose.
Winning means they were better than their competition. Losing means you were not as good at the
event as the winner. Losing is not a bad
thing nor is it uncommon. In a race of
20 people, only one win and 19 do
not. The great thing about not winning
is that you learn to try harder, practice more and not make the same mistakes
twice. The great thing about winning is that you now must be even better
because you know that all those who did not win this time will be better next
time. If you want to win again, you must
be better than your last win.
Scouts are quick to share with
each other what they have learned about winning. If there is an award or rank they have received, they are there to
help those other Scout working toward that award or rank know what they must do
and the best way to do it. The mark of a true winner is they are always ready
to help others become winners too. Their success does not depend on the
failures of others but on how good they have earned their own success. The
principle is simple if you want to
improve on anything, help those you are
competing against to improve as well, then you have no choice but to improve
yourself.
MYTH #4 THEY DO NOT EXIST
This is the most damaging and
hurtful thing of all the myths. The idea
that there are no winners or that everyone is a winner (which means there are
no winners) has created a society of weak and dependent people who seek only to
be cared for. I believe that every
teacher, sports team, and a parent who teaches children that everyone is a winner is stealing the very life from that child. Every child has the potential to be great and
to rob them of this gift is cruel and heartless. Remember the words of the great coach, Vince
Lombardi, " Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing. You
don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do
them right all the time. Winning is a habit.
Unfortunately, so is losing."
Think about how many Scouts have
achieved such great things in life. Scouts have walked on the moon, build great
businesses, and help world records in about every sport or competition
imaginable. They have been teachers, Secretaries of State, Military generals
and even the President of the United States. They did this not because they
thought everyone had to win. They did it because they knew they had to win.
They paid the price, did the work and never gave up. Let’s teach all our young
people to do the same.
You matter! You matter to the
world and to yourself. Remember to be
your best, love God, have good manners, achieve the unknown and change your
world.
Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal
blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal
development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy
Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the
Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting
for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal
Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To
read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him
to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com. © 2019 John Patrick Hickey
Monday, August 5, 2019
Friday, August 2, 2019
Thursday, August 1, 2019
How to Achieve a Dream
During my
time in Scouting, I have kept one thing centered in my mind, these young boys
can grow to be great men. I really
believe the old thinking that you can be anything you want to be. I recently heard a commentator say that
studies show a growing number of adults today do not believe their children
will have the same advantages as they had.
That may be true, however, there will always be those who rise to the
top and change the world as it is.
Always has been; always will be.
I also know that it is what we
help our young people to believe that will shape their future, not what we give
them or do for them. Scouting teaching the young person to care
for themselves and to be prepared for life. It is not a group that hides,
protects and shelters young people. Our goal is to help them be all they can be
and to learn to make the life they choose, and not to expect it to be handed to
them. We need to help young people to
learn three main principles in becoming success-minded people.
“Some men dream of worthy accomplishments, while others stay awake and
do them.”
– Unknown
1) Learn all you can learn
Adults,
as well as children, have concluded that all education comes from
school. If they are going to learn, they
must learn it in school and the more school somehow equals more education. That is not how learning happens. Our "education"
should begin in early childhood and end
at the grave. As Albert Einstein said,
"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease at
death." We learn from every
experience we have, every person we meet, every book we read.
When we teach people that all
education comes from school, we limit them in their experience and stop their
ability to learn. I believe in education
and support schools and higher education, however, they are only a part of
learning - a small part. The person who
learns how to learn can achieve anything they want to in life. As actor and
Eagle Scout, Mike Rowe said, “We must change how we define, a good education.”
2) Do all you can do
When learning is stopped or
limited, so is a person's ability to grow and become what they dream to
be. If you are taught that your
education stops when you are out of school, you will find your education very
short indeed. Sadly, many people believe this and settle in
life for far less than they can
achieve. We must help young people to
understand that they were born to be extraordinary and to do extraordinary
things. Scouting offers an endless ability to learn new and wonderful things.
The only limits to a Scouts learning are the ones they place on themselves.
Excellence does not happen by
accident. It must be a habit that a
person chooses to have in their life.
Aristotle said, " We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence,
therefore, is not an act, but a habit."
This habit comes from learning never to settle for the mediocre or just right. One of the most damaging things we have
taught our children is that there are no winners. This forces everyone to the lowest point, not
the highest. There are winners and it is
up to us to teach our children to be a winner.
To do that we must follow the advice of author Zig Ziglar who said,
"You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to
win, and expect to win."
3) Be all you can be
It all leads back to the old
teaching, you can be anything you want to be.
Tell this to our young, believe it of our young and help them see it in us as well. Never think you are too old to set the
example of success. Children learn their
habits from us, so let's set good habits for them to learn. Be a person of good character who does not
just talk about the Scout Law but who live the Scout Law. Be a person who works hard and takes care of
themselves rather than depending on the government or the kindness of
others. Be a person of faith and show
the reality of Christ in your life.
Our young people will be the
leaders of tomorrow. Not maybe our leaders WILL
BE our leaders. If we want a better
tomorrow we need to give them a better today.
Help them be all they can be and teach them to care for others more than
themselves. It is a simple, but profound
truth, to quote Zig Ziglar once more, "You
can have anything in life you want, as long as you help other people to get
what they want."
You matter! You matter to the
world and to yourself. Remember to be
your best, love God, have good manners, achieve the unknown and change your
world.
Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal
blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal
development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy
Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the
Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting
for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal
Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To
read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him
to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com. © 2019 John Patrick Hickey
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