Winners

"Everyone is a winner.  There are no losers here." a teacher in a Jr. High School tells her students.  For some odd reason, we have begun to think that it is not only hurtful for a child to lose but hurtful for them to win as well.  In an Op-Ed from the New York Time titled, Losing Is Good For You, by Ashley Merryman (Sept. 24, 2013) she wrote, " By age 4 or 5, children aren’t fooled by all the trophies. They are surprisingly accurate in identifying who excels and who struggles. Those who are outperformed know it and give up, while those who do well feel cheated when they aren’t recognized for their accomplishments. They, too, may give up."  After all, if there are no winners why even try?

                The truth is there are winners and losers in many areas of life.  Winning does not make you better than everyone else, nor does losing make you less.  Winning means that you can do a task, have a skill or perform a sport better than those you compete against.  All winners know, there is always someone who is better at what you do than you are.  That is why winners work at winning. 

In Scouting, winners are rewarded for their work. Whether it is achieving a rank, earning a merit badge or coming in first in a race, winners are always recognized. At the same time, Scouts do not criticize or shame the loser. Those who did not win are encouraged to learn from the winner how to improve. The goal is always to make those who did not win to become the winner in the future.

Where our current system fails young people is that they do not challenge them to be better or to give more. Not only do the losers feel they are less but the adults think so too. If you think for a moment that children and young people believe there are no losers or that everyone is a winner, you are being very foolish. The goal must never be to help children to be comfortable being less than the best but to help them believe and work at being the best.

There are four myths that have been created in our culture about winners and winning.

“Practice does not make perfect - but it does make winners.”

– Unknown

MYTH #1 THEY WIN BECAUSE THEY CHEAT

                I will not say that some who win have not cheated to do so, but I will say that those who cheat are not winners.  Real winners win because they are good at what they do.  To be a winner you must prepare to win and that takes a lot of hard work.  Winners practice, commit their time and stay focused on what they must do.  Winning does not just happen, it takes work.

                In Scouting, you learn that you are expected to do your best. Not be the best, but do your best. Not everyone will excel at everything, but everyone can be their best at what they do. Sometimes, that may include being the best. That is good and should be rewarded. However, Scouts know that being the best at something does not make you better as a person than anyone else. Scouts encourage all to do their best and with that comes the fulfillment and pride of knowing that you are not just one of a pack of mediocre people. You are a Scout, and that is something to be proud of.

MYTH #2 THEY ARE SELFISH

                To think that having a desire to win a prize or title is selfish is foolish.  Of course, winners want the prize, that is why they are willing to pay the price to win.  Olympic athletes spend years working out every day for hours a day.  They do not do this so they can have the satisfaction of competing.  They want to win.  Not just win, but win the gold.  The same is true in every area of life.  You work hard to win, not to say you were in the game.  Anyone can compete, but only those who pay the price can win.

                Scouts learn that if they want to move forward they will have to do the work. Not every Scout makes Eagle. Only about 5% of those in Boys Scouts achieve the rank of Eagle Scout. Eagle is not an easy rank to achieve. It takes dedication, hard work and persistence to become an Eagle Scout, but for those who are willing to pay the price, the prize is there. No one, no matter how bad they may feel about it, is given the rank of Eagle. If you want it, you must earn it. No shortcuts, no give away on excuses. That is what makes an Eagle Scout.

MYTH #3 THEY MAKE OTHERS LOSE

                Time for some rational and solid thinking.  If one person wins it has nothing to do with the others who lose.  Winning means they were better than their competition.  Losing means you were not as good at the event as the winner.  Losing is not a bad thing nor is it uncommon.  In a race of 20 people, only one win and 19 do not.  The great thing about not winning is that you learn to try harder, practice more and not make the same mistakes twice.  The great thing about winning is that you now must be even better because you know that all those who did not win this time will be better next time.  If you want to win again, you must be better than your last win.

                Scouts are quick to share with each other what they have learned about winning. If there is an award or rank they have received, they are there to help those other Scout working toward that award or rank know what they must do and the best way to do it. The mark of a true winner is they are always ready to help others become winners too. Their success does not depend on the failures of others but on how good they have earned their own success. The principle is simple if you want to improve on anything, help those you are competing against to improve as well, then you have no choice but to improve yourself.

MYTH #4 THEY DO NOT EXIST

                This is the most damaging and hurtful thing of all the myths.  The idea that there are no winners or that everyone is a winner (which means there are no winners) has created a society of weak and dependent people who seek only to be cared for.  I believe that every teacher, sports team, and a parent who teaches children that everyone is a winner is stealing the very life from that child.  Every child has the potential to be great and to rob them of this gift is cruel and heartless.  Remember the words of the great coach, Vince Lombardi, " Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing. You don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing."

                Think about how many Scouts have achieved such great things in life. Scouts have walked on the moon, build great businesses, and help world records in about every sport or competition imaginable. They have been teachers, Secretaries of State, Military generals and even the President of the United States. They did this not because they thought everyone had to win. They did it because they knew they had to win. They paid the price, did the work and never gave up. Let’s teach all our young people to do the same.

You matter!  You matter to the world and to yourself.  Remember to be your best, love God, have good manners, achieve the unknown and change your world.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2019 John Patrick Hickey