Pastor,
radio host and educator, Charles Swindoll said, "I cannot even imagine
where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given
me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun." I must agree with this wholeheartedly. Without the love and support of good friends, I don't know where I would be. It has also been my desire to be such a
friend to others and I have been blessed with some great examples.
I have seen in Scouting that
friendships are a vital part of the whole program. Boys like to have friends.
Feeling a part of the group gives a Scout identity, a sense of belonging and a
feeling of safety. The more friends a young person has the better they feel
about themselves.
Friendship is more than just the
fact you know each other. We see people every day, at work, school, church or where
ever, and we greet each other and are pleasant, but that does not really make
us friends. Friends are those who are
involved in our lives and we in theirs.
A friend is a person you talk
with, laugh with, cry with, and believes in.
Nineteenth-century English
Clergyman, Robert Hall, described a friend this way, "A friend should be
one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion
we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity." Let's look at four ways you can be this kind
of a friend.
“There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.”
– Katharine Hathaway
(1890-1942)
Author/Educator
1) Friends believe in each other
It is one thing to agree with the dreams and ambitions of your friends
and another to believe in those dreams and ambitions. As a friend, believe in the dreams of those
you care about. Some may be a bit far
out there and you may not fully understand, but they are not your dreams to
understand. Know that your friend has
this dream and your place, as their friend, is not to critique or remodel it but to support and believe in them.
Scouts are always ready to encourage
each other to go to the next level. No matter if they are moving up in rank or
taking a swimming test, they are there to encourage each other on and help make
the process better for each one. A Scout believes in his brother Scout and
honestly desires to see him succeed. In a Troop, when one succeeds, they all
succeed.
2) Friends share their dreams
Just as you are willing to hear
and believe in your friend’s dream, allow them to be a part of yours. If the relationship is all one-sided, then it is not a healthy
relationship in the first place. One of
the marks of a real friend is that you will make each other better people and
achievers. As a businessman, Henry Ford said, "My best friend is the one who
brings out the best in me."
In the process of earning the
rank of Eagle Scout, the Scout must do what is called an Eagle project. This is
not a simple act of service. It is truly
a major project. One thing they all know is that the other Scouts in your Troop
are there to help you. The Scout moving to Eagle rank may have to design and
plan the project, but he knows he does not have to do it alone. He has brothers
who believe in him and will happily do their best for him.
3) Friends accept nothing less
than excellence
A true friend is one who knows
that you have the potential to be excellent in all you do and will accept nothing less.
I have heard many times that a true friend accepts you just the way you
are. That is not at all true. The waiter in the restaurant or the bank
teller accepts you "just as you are".
They don't care what you do or how you live. A true friend cares about you and will do all
they can to keep you from doing things that will injure your character or
reputation. Friend will always work to
help you become the very best you can be and not ignore your flaws but help you
to overcome them.
A Scout is brave. It takes
courage to confront a friend when you know they are heading in the wrong
direction. Scouts are quick to encourage and help each other along the way, but
they will also be quick to say things are not as they should be. They know that
to help a friend avoid trouble is to truly help a friend.
4) Friends are encouragers
"When you encourage others,
you in the process are encouraged because you're making a commitment and
difference in that person's life." Zig Ziglar said, "Encouragement
really does make a difference."
There is no greater gift we can give to our friends, family
or to ourselves than that of encouragement.
Sometimes it is as simple as a warm smile and a soft pat on the back,
other times it means sitting quietly with a hurting friend just so they know
you are there. If you have one gift to
give to your friends, let it be an encouragement.
I have found that Scouts often
live in the real world. They do not all come from perfect homes and have their
parents at each meeting cheering them on. They come from broken homes where
they are facing many difficulties on their own. These Scouts can be some of the
greatest encouragers of all. They know what their friends are facing and
struggling with and they also know that together, they can overcome. No matter
if their life is like a storybook or a tragedy, Scouts encourage and stick
together. That is what friends do.
You matter! You matter to the
world and to yourself. Remember to be
your best, love God, have good manners, achieve the unknown and change your
world.
Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal
blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal
development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy
Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the
Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting
for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal
Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To
read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him
to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com. © 2019 John Patrick Hickey
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