A Good Companion

We have looked at many qualities of friendship, but none is as pleasant as the love of a friend. Scripture gives us many examples of good friends and how their love for each other strengthens and encourages them. David and Jonathan is an excellent example of two friends whose commitment and loyalty to each other carried them through difficulties and lasted long after Jonathan’s death. In 1 Samuel 18, we read: “…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.”

Scouts learn that they can depend on their friend as a faithful companion in life’s journey, where it is a deep abiding love that is non-sexual and is not threatened by other committed relationships, such as the marriage of a friend. History and fiction are filled with such beautiful examples of deep friendships. One fictional account that has always been tender to me is that between Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin, as told in the stories of A.A. Milne. As Christopher Robin grows up and prepares to go off to school, leaving childhood behind, Pooh says, “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

“A companion loves some agreeable qualities which a man may possess,

but a friend loves the man himself.”

James Boswell

1740-1795

Writer

As a Scout, you must understand that not every friendship we have will be so profound. I do not believe we can maintain more than one such relationship at a time. Many people may never have so deep a friendship. However, all friendships offer the opportunity to be a good companion as you travel through life. Thomas Aquinas said, “Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends, even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious.”

Scouting offers young people an opportunity to develop excellent and reliable friendships. There is a bond with those in your Troop or Patrol that become stronger as the years go by. You camp together, work as a team together, achieve badges, and ranks together. These are friendships you will cherish for the rest of your life.

Scouts treat every friend as if he or she were their best friend. They may not share their deepest feelings to all, but the concern and willingness to pour into the friendship are there. They always look for what is best for their friend and encourage them to succeed. They never treat them selfishly or use them for personal gain. Spanish Philosopher Baltasar Gracian said, “Never have a companion that casts you in the shade.”

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU052720 Courage

I Understand

If there is one quality that Scouts and Scouters must develop to be the best kind of friend, it’s the ability to understand others. Understanding is not excusing wrong thinking or behavior, but it sees why it happens. Understanding is not compromising but instead recognizing that we all see things differently. W. Clement Stone said, “Truth will always be the truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance.”

An assessment I use when I am coaching someone is called a DISC Assessment. DISC is not a personality test but instead tells us how we communicate, and we like to have others interact with us. It is our behavioral style, and by understanding it and the styles of others, we can better communicate. Tony Robbins said, “To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

“Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.”

Henry Ward Beecher

1813-1887

Clergyman

Scouts should desire to understand others so they can best help and encourage them. When we are stuck in our thinking, we block off the avenues of communication and understanding. You and the person you are talking to could be saying the same thing and desire the same result, but a lack of understanding of the other will cause you to think you are disagreeing. As a Scout, it is your responsibility to understand others and why they feel the way they do.

Even when people are thinking wrong or doing what you know is not right, your ability to understand why they feel as they do is key to your success in helping them. We all have a past, hurts, education, and experience that influence how we think – right or wrong. Understanding others will open doors that have been locked in their lives, maybe for years. It is the most powerful thing a friend can do.

Author Og Mandino gave some great advice on dealing with others that I believe all Scouts and Scouters should use daily. He said, “Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” Try some understanding with others. It will change you both.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey

SOU052520 The Example

A Consistent Friend

There is a sense of dependability in a friendship that we all find appealing. You know that your friend will be your friend regardless of the circumstances. You may not see each other a lot or talk all the time, but you know you are friends, and that brings comfort and a feeling of security. Major League Baseball legion Ernie Banks said, “Loyalty and friendship, which is to me the same, created all wealth that I’ve ever thought I’d have.” A good friend is worth more than gold.

Scouts and Scouters value friendship very highly. They know that the value is not just about having good friends but being a good friend. The loyal and steadfast nature of friendship is vital to our success. The late sportswriter, Charlie Jones, said, “Loyalty is something you give regardless of what you get back, and in giving loyalty, you’re getting more loyalty; and out of loyalty flow other great qualities.” Being a good friend helps us develop our character and makes us better people.

“Be slow to fall into friendship, but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.”

Socrates

?-399 BC

Philosopher

People expect their friends to be there for them. Sadly, that is not always the case. Too often, friends will bail out when things get hard or too much is asked of them. Scouts are consistent in their friendship. They are as good a friend in a difficult time as they are in good times. They can be counted on to be there and to do all they can in support of a friend. When a Scout is your friend, you do not have to wonder where their loyalty lies; it is with you.

This is the reason that Scouts are more selective of their close friends than other people are. Scouts understand that friendship is a responsibility and not always easy. Worldly friends say they will love you no matter what. That is not loving at all. Real friends will desire to make you a better person. They will tell you when you are wrong and heading into danger. Scouts care about their friends and invest in them their time and energy to help them succeed in life.

Scouts are friends who will do what they can to help their friends live by success principles. They know that it is better to strengthen a friend than to clean up after them. As author George MacDonald said, “It is better to keep a friend from falling than to help him up.” Good friends are consistent, accountable, and loyal. They are good to have on your side. They will not sit by and allow you to fail. Scouts will not leave when you mess-up, but they will do all they can to keep you from messing up in the first place.

Scouting Out of Uniform is a personal blog based on the lessons learned from Scouting that relate to personal development and success principles and is not an official site of The Boy Scouts of America. John Patrick Hickey does not represent or speak for the Scouting program; however, he does completely support and encourages Scouting for both young and old. John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, Personal Development Coach, and proud Scouter. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2020 John Patrick Hickey